A Carefree Mama

cleverbirdbanter carefree

Let me just clarify: there is no such thing as “a carefree mom.”

I realised this yesterday in a somewhat profound moment when I was catching up with some of my fave mommy friends and one of them remarked: “I think what I miss the most [about life pre-kids] is being carefree, because we will never feel that again. No one ever tells you that…” and never a truer word was spoken!

Even when our kids aren’t around us, when we are at work or having some ‘me time’, whatever – we are constantly thinking about them. Worrying about them. Wondering what they are doing. Are they driving the babysitter insane? Did I pack enough nappies? Have they eaten? Have they slept? Are they warm enough? Did I send an extra dummy? Oh crap, I forgot the snacks…. And the ultimate concern, one that we all have at some stage or another: what if something happens to us? Who will look after them? (Another member of the mom pack said she spent an entire weekend – the first full weekend away from her little one – worrying about just that, to the point where she hardly enjoyed herself – sounds familiar, right?!)

It’s a tough one to reconcile for so many of us who are fighting the battle to maintain our identity and not to just be “Mom”. And let’s be honest, it is a battle sometimes. It’s hard to meet the demands of little ones and to still make time for ourselves; to nurture our own interests (those beyond mothering) and to make time for our partners too – and then on top of that we are still constantly worrying about everything!

I remember when I was young and single; I heard somewhere that that was probably the stage of life where I would be the richest (financially) that I will ever be: no dependents, fewer expenses, a higher amount of disposal income, only me to be worry about… And at the time it baffled me because I thought I was pretty poor compared to my banker friends in London ;) but this is kind of the same thing…

Even if someone HAD told me way back when, I wouldn’t have ‘got it’, because that’s how life works – we only know these things once we are in the thick of it.

And 99% of the time, we wouldn’t change a thing.

I’m all about embracing things these days, accepting them, trying not to sweat the small stuff – life seems a whole lot closer to carefree when I do…

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11 thoughts on “A Carefree Mama

  1. Sarah says:

    Remember that girls cruise ship trip. The first time you left Addi. She was constantly on your mind and I think that was the first time it hit you that being away from the babas is not all it’s cut out to be.But it was also such a good thing to go through because you realise just how much more you love them than you thought you did :) …..and that must be more than to the moon and back because we all know just how much you love those precious little girls x

    • Andrea says:

      Thanks my friend – so true – even the other weekend when Murr took them to NUD and we went to the auction, the whole time I was worrying about their drive etc – it’s a mother’s right of passage ;) x

    • Andrea says:

      For sure – I’m really trying – and I think living in the present/in the moment/for the now really helps :)

  2. Caley says:

    Such a great post my friend – my hubs and I often joke about what we did with all our time before we had kids… Every evening and all weekend? x

    • Andrea says:

      Thanks friend – was also saying yesterday that I wasted SO MUCH time before I had kids – am busier now (workwise) than I have ever been + 2 kids on top of it and other stuff, its insane, hahaha!

  3. Suzie says:

    Good morning lovely, I am finally in my shed while stu has lorna for 2 hours… 26 mins left!! In the small hours of the morning I started writing a blog for you that started… who am I?? ha ha ha… it was all in my head as I was lying in the darkness and then it was almost creepy to read your blog this morning when the day had officially started… have been battling with what you are writing about for the last few weeks. Haaa. Well done, you seem to have your mojo back! :) Many hugs xxx

    • Andrea says:

      Thanks Suz! You make me laugh, hahaha – miss you! Hang in there and enjoy those last few minutes! xx

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