Grouchy Rabbit

A good one for wasting some time this Friday! A friend shared a link on Facebook yesterday for a website called Grouchy Rabbit – hubby thinks I’m crackers, have been shrieking with laughter at some of these snippets of “information for successful living”… A few of these little quips are highly amusing – naturally there are some lame ones too, but sift through and enjoy the real gems! Another good time-wasting site to check out: I Am Neurotic

Some of my personal GR faves shared below…

SIGNS THAT THINGS ARENT GOING SO WELL…
You win an award and Kanye comes running up the stairs..
You lost your voice, you can’t walk, you don’t know how to use a fork, and a fat octopus attempts to drown your true love.
You just used the phrase, “I’ll Yahoo it.”
You are the baby in the sonagram on 16 and Pregnant.
Your milkshake only brings the boys to the property line.
It didn’t stay in Vegas.

TO DO LIST:
Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.
Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”
Change Facebook name to “No One.” Like people’s statuses…
Go to Ikea. Hide in wardrobe. When someone opens wardrobe yell “FOR NARNIA!!”
Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo.
Find out whose cruel idea it was to put an “s” in the word “lisp.” Give them a high-five.
Find a girl named Stacy. Ask to meet her mother.
Let the dogs out.

FACT.
“I have diarrhea” is the only good answer to the question, “Are you ticklish?”
Condoms prevent minivans.
Facebook makes you hate the friends you have. Twitter makes you love people you don’t know.
Cursive was invented for the sole purpose of writing your name in the snow with urine.
You will never run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time.
If you are one in a million, there are six thousand people just like you.
Your parents never took your dog to go live on a farm.

DEFINITIONS:
Shin (noun) – A device for finding furniture in the dark
Hufflepuff (noun) – The Canada of Hogwarts.
Tomorrow (noun) – The best time to do everything you had planned for today.
No offense (phrase) – A phrase used to introduce a highly offensive comment.
Haha (noun) – This conversation is now over.
Due tomorrow (phrase) – Do tomorrow.
Birthday (noun) – The one day per year that people you never talk to on Facebook post on your wall.
Awkward (adjective) – When you de-friend somebody on Facebook and they friend request you again.

TIPS FOR SUCCESS
Occasionally think “I know you can read my thoughts,” just in case.
If you stare at something you dropped on the ground, eventually someone will pick it up for you.
“Charlie Sheen” is an acceptable punch line to any joke you forget the ending of.
Never assume the glass door is open.
If a girl doesn’t seem interested in you, you’re not wearing enough Axe.
If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait. The feeling will go away soon.
Say “the” in front of words like YouTube and Facebook, it will make you sound hip and modern.
If you have to get a blood transfusion make sure to get tiger’s blood.

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